I had no choice!
Dr. Sam Vaknin
Frequently Asked Question # 48
Why does the narcissist conjure up another Self? Why not simply transform his True Self into a False one?
We often marvel at the discrepancy between the private and public lives of our idols: celebrities, statesmen, stars,…
Don’t stop chasing.
I think that one of the biggest reason why relationships do not work out in the long run is because at one point, one side (or both) stops trying. Before one claims another person as their significant other, they would do anything to make that person happy. They would chase, they would flirt, they would be charming. They would send daily morning and goodnight texts every time you wake up or go to sleep. They would write corny messages and pick up lines just to make sure that there is a smile upon your face. But once they claim you as theirs, all of those things eventually stop. The 5 page texts slowly turn into 1. The constant calls turn into not calling at all. And the lovely endearments turn into daily arguments. In order for a relationship to work, don’t ever stop chasing. Just because the person you want is now consider “yours”, it does not mean they deserve anything less than the time when you’re trying to win them over.
An explanation doesnt equal an excuse and doing the wrong thing is not the same as not doing the right thing!
I was afraid this would happen. I just didn’t think it would be so easy for you to pull me back in that state i never wanted to be in ever again. Im so afraid. I dont want the past weeks to be useless i dont want to feel those feelings i dont want you to be able to use me again and i dont want everything to be all about you all the time again. I dont want to be so vulnerable and i dont want you to know and take advantage of it. I need to know what is real and what isn’t i need you to take responsibility and to show remorse not for beging sick but for everytime you hurt me. There is no black an white to this story. Some things are to blame on your illness but hardly all of them! You don’t even see everything thats wrong with you how can you say you know why it is wrong?!?! And that’s the point you chose the easy way as you always do and how you are used to get everything. i wish i was stronger i wish i could allow myself to love me instead of you and be happy for once. I really thought i could do it this time i thought i was ready but here i am still broken into the pieces from countless attempts to make it up to you and to be good enough while you never even honestly tried. And dont argue this is fact this is reality this is what i know and live through and if you cant agree then it’s clear that our understandings of love and value and morals are miles apart from another and can’t ever work out right. I changed myself at least 90% for you and it brought us here. The question is would you do the same could you really become a empathic, helpful, social person that pays attention and puts others first some times? If the answer is no and you honestly want me to be happy and to have the love i deserve then now is the time to let me go! Thats what i ask for and nothing less. I need to be hėalthy and setteling for less would continue the patterns in my life that almost killed me. Bonny 2.0 is worth so much and you’re going to have to pay a higher price than ever before. Will it be worth it?absolutely! Will i pay the same? I always have and always will! Its up to you. And everything i say and do to you is so much more than you could ask for so before you make demands or accuse me again think twice. Again: this is a truth that cant be discussed. And i expect you to acknowledge it. One false word one breach of rules and it’s over! I will be consequent and if you can’t accept it at least i finally am free of hope hat you mean what you say. And you can admit that you arent deserving of my comittment and that i am not a coldblooded ex but the one person that was willing to love you linke no one else ever will. One last time: there is nothing exaggerated or made up i mean it exactly as i say and you better believe and accept evėry single word! This is not the moment to try and push boundaries! You know everything you need to know on how to treat me correctly do it or dont but i dont wanna hear you asking and complainig like a 5 year old in front of a candy store.
That’s it i’m out. Trying to fix what is broken. either you help or you leave me alone.